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Preparedness is...everything but...

Bismillah.

So hari ni nak share my experienced about viva, it is an oral presentation. So my turn was on 13 December and am number 4. So a week before, aku dah start text presentation and practice on my own, set time...everything was okay. Until day before the big day tu, migraine attacked. It was so damn hurt, it feels like I wanna saw my head, take out the brain...nope.. take out the pain inside my head! hahaha keluarkan otak...giler? 
It was the most painful migraine attack I ever had. I just recovered today (14 Dec), fully recovered.

12 December 2017
So at that night, aku like mayat hidup, I cannot drive home...this 23 km way back home. Memula rasa nak call parents masa 6.40pm tp 50-50, so I make a stupid decision by not telling them that I was in pain. Habis jumpa sv, I went to the library, duduk dekat sofa depan entrance tu hehehe while waiting for Dania and Gaiya, tertido. The pain still there. 7.20pm I decided to go back, tak boleh tahan dah. So bye nia, bye gaiya, bye Dr. Neni...aku pergi kat kereta. Haa tudia degil lagi taknak call ibu, nak angkat kepala pun tak boleh masa dalam kereta, so aku take five kejap sebelum drive. Sakit tak hilang jugak, and I need to edit my slide presentation, dah la pagi esok tu kena present. Haa kau. Nak tak nak, paksa diri bangun, drive slow-slow, sepanjang perjalanan puas berdoa, 'Dear Allah, please help me, prevent me daripada any accident, I wanna go back home safely'
Sampai rumah dah habis azan isyak, I walk slowly...perjalanan nak masuk rumah tu pun aku rasa jauh sangat. Badan belah kiri totally out, jalan mcm zombie, tahu zombie? hehehe masuk bilik my brother, I lay on the bed and 'pengsan' sampai 12 am. 12 am tu terjaga because my mentor said to me in my dream,'what are you doing?' haa the other reason I wake up sebab mimpi hantu. Celaka betul hantu ni! haha. So bangun 12am tu, the pain was still there, cuma dah berkurangan. Bangun bersihkan diri, start betulkan slide and cari information for tomorrow presentation. Tapi sayang, dapat bertahan sampai 4.20am like that, aku tumbang lagi. Bangun2 dah azan subuh. Slide tak habis edit lagi ni. Hmm redha je masa tu, print out slide presentation and poster, also the rubric. Siap2 and decided not to drive on that day.

13 December 2017
Alhamdulillah sempat inform dekat ibu. So ibu will drive the Jazz, drop me to MSU and ibu go to Putrajaya, ada event kat ioi. I walk slowly and take the lift and sit in front of the medical resource center... practice sikit2. Makan biskut, then makan ubat migraine. I got that ubat just after I told my mom that actually, I have a migraine. Lesson learnt guys. Selagi kita ada parents, tell them kita ada sakit apa, kat mana and all. At least they knew, so anything happen later, they will be prepared enough. Selesai present, I stay at level 9 to watch my biatch present pulak, Nia. She was good. Bravo mates! Then am waiting for my mum to take me home. 
Sepanjang perjalanan balik tu, my mind ni cannot stop thinking about my research, I feel like... why and what are you doing man? So I started to googling something...something related to my research topic. FO la malas nak fikir, sampai rumah, aku makan hahaha perut tak terisi kanji sejak pagi, so aku habiskan lauk semalam yg ada sikit-sikit lagi tu. SEDAP WEY :P
After isyak prayer, I lay down on the couch, main-main phone then terlena. Tak sentuh satu kerja pun.

So harini, just nak prepare and hadap lab test hematology at 2pm later. 
Conclusionnya, no matter how ready you are, Allah nak bagi sakit, Allah akan bagi tanpa kira waktu dan tempat. Banyak benda aku dapat tengok semalam, so aku compare diri aku dengan orang lain. Haa tipu la cakap aku tak kecewa, tapi takpe, aku pun masih mencari-cari lagi apa yang aku nak dalam hidup ni. Kejap nak A, kejap nak B... jadinya, aku memang tak sabar nak habis degree nak start new phase of life. STOP. STOP. Jangan fikir aku nak kawin ek... new phase of life as an ordinary person laa hahaha like no campus life dah after this...new advanture, new journey... jadinya mulakan dengan bismillah lah dalam setiap perkara. 

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